Family Acceptance Project

This past Sunday Jerry Peterson, director of the Ruth Ellis Center, was the speaker for the First Sunday Program put on by the Dedicated Reconciling United Methodists. Jerry started with part of a video of Ruth Ellis. She was born in 1899 and lived to be 101. She was black and a lesbian. She owned her house and a business, something quite rare for a black woman in the first half of the last century. For a while she had a partner. They frequently opened the home to other black gays and lesbians, who had nowhere else to socialize. Sometimes she helped some of them through college. Ruth visited the Center named after her before she died (when it was at a previous location).

Then Jerry talked about the Family Acceptance Project that is being started at the Center. This is one of the ideas that inspired the Truth and Reconciliation project that Rev. Ed Rowe and Rev. Mike Tupper are pursuing.

Ruth Ellis House, associated with the Center, is a place for sexual minority foster kids that have run out of options. The state of Michigan says keeping foster kids with a family is best, so a residential facility is the last resort. The problem is that the state doesn't record whether the youth is LGBT. The youth has been kicked out of his home of origin because he is gay. That is a hit to his mental health. He is assigned to a foster home – and gets kicked out because he is gay. Another hit to mental health. Perhaps a few more foster homes take him in and then reject him. Each rejection is another hit to mental health. Which means by the time they show up at the Ruth Ellis House they can be quite traumatized.

Jerry talked about ways to prevent this cycle through the Family Acceptance Project. The best place for the child is the home of origin. First, teach state social workers to determine if the child is LGBT when they are brought to a situation due to abuse or neglect. If the child is a sexual minority the family is referred to the Center. If they accept the Center's help then social services will take a step back.

When the Center's social worker meets with the family they can say, "We know you are trying to protect yourselves and your child. We know you are trying to prevent ostracism from church, family, and society. We know you want the best for your child and love him or her. But isolation and condemning language [the list of harmful actions has ten items] won't work. Do one or two of them and your child will be eight times more likely to indulge in risky behavior, including drugs. Do five or more and your child has an 80% chance of committing suicide. Instead of those actions, do these."

Jerry is aware this may not work with a fundamentalist family where they consider preventing homosexuality part of making sure the child gets to heaven. But for most other families this change of behavior will work.

Rev. Ed Rowe is taking this idea to churches. We know you love the sexual minorities in your midst. This is how to help them and not harm them.

Jerry says they are just starting the project. In their first level of staffing they will be able to help only 28 families at a time. It is a good start, but I'm sure the need is much greater than that.