Truth and Reconciliation

Last week I made it to University UMC in East Lansing for "A Time to Share in Giving Thanks and Witness." This was the time in which Rev. Ed Rowe and Rev. Mike Tupper filled us in on the details of the Just Resolutions they had signed two days before with Bishop Deborah Kiesey. The text of both Just Resolutions are included at the end of this post.

Ed welcomed us to the gathering. He then welcomed M Barclay, Assistant Director of Communications at Reconciling Ministries Network. M told us of her difficulties of being a lesbian called by God to to ordained ministry. M captured most of this meeting on video, which has now been posted to the RMN website. Ed and Mike urge supporters to view the video.

Rev. Tom Robinson offered a prayer of joy and thanksgiving, for reaching a resolution, for a bishop willing to work to avoid a trial. There were many people to thank, alas I cannot name them all.

Peggy Garrigues and Mark Thompson are two out, but "non-practicing," clergy in the Michigan conferences. Both told their stories of the pain of being both gay and clergy. Peggy spoke of her gratitude for the workers and supporters behind the scenes and over the years. Mark talked of the grace of being able to speak to us and the grace for us to hear.

David Lundquist is a former General Secretary to the General Council on Ministries. He described the process that brought us to this point. The denomination's Book of Discipline clearly states that a pastor must not officiate at a same-sex wedding or commitment ceremony. Ed and Mike obeyed the part of the Discipline that requires pastors to provide care for all, and so violated the rule against officiating at same-sex ceremonies. In both cases a complaint was filed against them. When a complaint is filed the first step by the bishop is to hold a meeting with the pastors and those who filed the complaint. The goal is to reach a Just Resolution acceptable to all parties. If no agreement is reached, the bishop has three choices: (1) dismiss the complaint, (2) refer the matter to a committee of the Board of Ordained Ministry, or (3) refer the matter to the church judiciary for a trial.

Since this Just Resolution concludes the matter I don't think it is possible for someone else to file another complaint to attempt to force a trial.

Mike Tupper told us why the complaint was filed against him. He had signed the marriage certificate at his daughter's wedding to another woman. Mike told us about that day. You can read the wonderful details here.

Ed Rowe told his story. He began telling us that the Methodist Church had taught him about inclusion, so the current situation is all our fault. Ed grew up in a Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. He saw its exclusion, in particular against his father, who was a Mason. That turned him off from church. Some time later he saw the local chapter of the John Birch Society picket the local Methodist church. That was a pretty good clue the Methodist Church would welcome him too. It was there he learned about a God whose love and grace embraced all people.

Ed officiated at a same-sex wedding last June because he understood the damage to the couple, to the United Methodist Church, and to his sacred calling to be a pastor to all people if he didn't treat the lesbian couple the same way he treats straight couples. It was an amazing wedding. Lots of scars were bathed by the "sacrament" of the wedding. There was healing.

The Book of Discipline is about covenant. Many talk of a covenant between pastors and some say this covenant is broken when a pastor disobeys the Discipline. However, there are many other covenants, such as offering pastoral care to all. Ed says his ministry is about those who are left behind. A person can't be a little bit inclusive.

Those who attended were given copies of the Just Resolutions that Mike and Ed signed. Ed and Mike accepted the consequences of their decision, which are to create a Truth and Reconciliation process. The key paragraph in Ed's resolution is:

Rev. Rowe will work with the Michigan Area Episcopal Office to form a design team with clergy and lay persons from across the Michigan Area, including LGBTQ persons. The team is charged with planning, implementation and resourcing an area-wide series of events using a "Truth and Reconciliation" model at which LGBTQ and other interested United Methodists can have a safe place to tell their stories. These events will have the stated goal of reducing our church's harmful rhetoric and actions toward LGBTQ persons. These events will be planned to occur over the next 18 months.

Mike's key paragraph is almost identical, with the addition that he will work with Ed. Mike's resolution includes a couple more points: He will write a paper presenting the various theological positions in the West Michigan Conference and explain why he chose his own position. He will tell his story at every opportunity and serve as a resource for churches working for inclusion.

Ed told us he came up with this as the resolution in two steps. The first step came from Jerry Peterson of the Ruth Ellis Center. The Center serves as a safe space for sexual LGBTQ youth, many of whom are homeless because their families rejected them. The center also provides a wide range of services for the youth. As part of those services the Center had worked with researchers in the Family Acceptance Project. When a gay person comes out to family the family frequently responds with words and actions believed to help the gay person but actually cause harm, sometimes to the point of suicide. The Family Acceptance Project doesn't try to change beliefs, only behaviors. This guides a family to help, not hurt or kill, their children.

I volunteer at the Ruth Ellis Center and was able to hear about the Family Acceptance Project when it was presented to the Center's staff. I wrote about it on my personal blog.

Ed's second step was to hear about Truth and Reconciliation commissions from Rev. Tom Robinson. Tom told us his story. Tom is black and while he was growing up one of his aunts was asked to sing at a white church – but was only allowed to sing from behind a screen. Some of us are still behind the screen.

Tom was part of a Truth and Reconciliation process in Detroit. The city is among the most segregated cities in America. That situation is because of many decisions by many people over many years. Racism still causes pain, but it is a big issue we are too willing to not talk about. The Truth and Reconciliation process is a way to talk about the hurts that result from a situation. Hearing the stories allows movement towards reconciliation. The most famous use of a Truth and Reconciliation process is South Africa, though it has been used in several other places around the world, such as Rwanda.

Ed talked about what he and Mike agreed to do. Their Just Resolutions are based on "Do no (more) harm." They will create a safe space for LGBTQ people to tell how the denomination's policies, words, and actions have hurt them. Others who desire to testify will also give their testimony. The testimony will be filmed and edited. The result will be shown around the state with the intent of showing the church how deeply some of us have been hurt – most church members, says Ed, don't have a clue of the depth of the pain. Then there is hope of guiding the church to behaviors that welcome and not wound. Ed says that he wants to change behaviors; he is not trying to change beliefs. Ed's faith in this process is based on his belief in the compassion and love in most United Methodist leaders, clergy and lay, who once they hear of the hurt that is being done would be willing to change their words and actions, if not their beliefs, to do no more harm. If a person disagrees with the film they may talk or shout at the representatives accompanying the film or at the screen, not at the wounded person. There have been too many times where discussion of LGBTQ people brought out wounding words that then cannot be unsaid. Ed says there is a hierarchy of hurt. The pastor hurt by a neighboring pastor who performs a same-sex ceremony is in a lot less pain than a teen who is told by the youth pastor he is going to hell.

Ed made it clear that in working through this complaint he has been following the Book of Discipline exactly. It is through the process outlined in the Discipline that he and the bishop agreed to this Just Resolution. Ed was also clear that it is not appropriate for the church to be having conversations about LGBTQ people without LGBTQ people included in the conversations. Therefore LGBTQ people will be involved in all parts and stages of the Truth and Reconciliation process.

Ed turned to us, especially LGBTQ people, for help. He and Mike can't do it by themselves. He listed several ways we can be involved. People are needed to:

* plan how this process will work.
* staff the commission, who can focus on the testimony and not on themselves, including those who are good at making the witnesses comfortable and helping to draw out their stories.
* do the technical stuff, run cameras, set up microphones, edit and assemble the resulting video.
* research who to ask to testify. If you know of someone with a story to tell, pass the word to Ed and Mike.
* give their testimony.
* get and prepare sites around the state where the stories will be told.
* do organizational work behind the scenes.
* give financial support. The bishop did not authorize a budget, though she said she would help raise money.

During the question and answer session a young man said we shouldn't limit stories to LGBTQ people. He said he is the son of Mark Thompson, the gay pastor. He has also been hurt and has a story to tell.

Here is Ed's email address:

And here is Mike's:

They are not here as links to avoid web crawlers from harvesting the addresses and sending then more spam. Please tell Ed or Mike how you might help and who has a story to tell.

I have offered Ed, Mike, and the team the services of this blog to help with communication. I'll post notices as they come available.


Ed asked that the text of the Just Resolutions be posted as well. Here they are:

Just Resolutions

Between

Rev. Edwin A. Rowe and Rev. Melanie L. Carey and Rev. Elbert P. Dulworth

This Just Resolution agreement results from a complaint submitted by Rev. Melanie L. Carey and Rev. Elbert P. Dulworth against the Rev. Edwin A. Rowe for conducting a same-gender wedding ceremony on June 28, 2014. After receiving this complaint Bishop Deborah Lieder Kiesey conducted a supervisory response in this matter under the provisions of the Book of Discipline 2012 (¶363).

As a result of the Supervisory Response process conducted by Bishop Kiesey, the persons signing this document have entered into the following Just Resolution agreement:

1) Rev. Rowe acknowledges that he knowingly and intentionally violated ¶2702.1b and ¶2702.1d of the 2012 Book of Discipline, as an act of personal faith and conscience, and acknowledges that others may have felt hurt by his action.

2) Rev. Rowe will work with the Michigan Area Episcopal Office to form a design team with clergy and lay persons from across the Michigan Area, including LGBTQ persons. The team is charged with planning, implementation and resourcing an area-wide series of events using a “Truth and Reconciliation” model at which LGBTQ and other interested United Methodists can have a safe place to tell their stories. These events will have the stated goal of reducing our church’s harmful rhetoric and actions toward LGBTQ persons. These events will be planned to occur over the next 18 months.

3) Bishop Kiesey will extend an invitation to all lay and clergy from across Michigan Area (including conference and district leaders) to participate in stated events, and to ecourage participation by persons of all theological perspectives.

4) Each of the parties to this Just Resolution Agreement agrees tha tthey will not disclose the content of any other conversations which may have taken place during the Supervisory Response Process or speak on behalf of any other party to the agreement.

5) This Just Resolution having been agreed to by all parties shall be the final disposition of the complaint in this matter.

Just Resolution

Between

Rev. Michael Tupper and Rev. John Boley

This Just Resolution agreement results from a complaint submitted by Rev. John Boley against the Rev. Michael Tupper for conducting a same-gender wedding ceremony on August 17, 2014. After receiving this complaint Bishop Deborah Lieder Kiesey conducted a supervisory response in this matter under the provisions of the Book of Discipline 2012 (¶363).

As a result of the Supervisory Response process conducted by Bishop Kiesey, the persons signing this document have entered into the following Just Resolution agreement:

1) Rev. Tupper acknowledges that he knowingly and intentionally violated two sections of the 2012 Book of Discipline, as an act of personal faith and conscience, and acknowledges that others may have felt hurt by his action.

2) Rev. Tupper, who desires to remain a part of the clergy covenant in the West Michigan Conference, will work with his clergy colleagues by using the proper channels toward changing the discriminatory language and provisions in our Book of Discipline, while continuing to advocate for the LGBTQ community within the United Methodist Church and providing pastoral care to all people under his appointment.

3) Rev. Tupper will work with the Michigan Area Episcopal Office and Ed Rowe to form a design team with clergy and lay persons from across the Michigan Area, including LGBTQ persons. The team is charged with planning, implementing and resourcing an area-wide series of events using a “Truth and Reconciliation” model at which LGBTQ and other interested United Methodists can have a safe place to tell their stories. These events will have the stated goal of reducing our church’s harmful rhetoric and actions toward LGBTQ persons. These events will be planned to occur over the next 18 months.

4) Rev. Tupper will develop a written theological statement which accurately presents the several existing theological positions within the context of the West Michigan Conference and includes his personal theological conclusions about the position he has chosen for himself.

5) Rev. Tupper will avail himself of every opportunity presented to him to tell the story of his spiritual journey as an act of witness, and will offer his services as a resource to help our churches be more welcoming and inclusive.

6) Each of the parties to this Just Resolution Agreement agree that the terms of this resolution may be shared with the public as needed. Further, they agree that they will not disclose the content of any other conversations which may have taken place during the Supervisory Response Process or speak on behalf of any other party to the agreement.

7) This Just Resolution, having been agreed to by all parties, shall be a final disposition of the complaint in this matter.