Report of Frank Schaefer's visit to Ann Arbor

I was in Ann Arbor yesterday to hear Frank Schaefer speak. He is the United Methodist pastor who was defrocked last fall. Though much of his story was told in the news, it is good to hear it from his perspective. The event was recorded and should be posted to YouTube sometime soon. Here is my summary of the evening.

Frank opened with scripture. I think it is from 1 John. There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear.

When Frank's son Tim was young the father took the son to Annual Conference in eastern Pennsylvania. At that session there was a huge and contentious debate about how to treat gay people in the denomination. At the time Tim was beginning to realize he is gay and hearing all that hate speech (as Frank now calls it) from the church was devastating to the young boy.

Sometime later Frank got an anonymous call saying Tim was suicidal. Frank and his wife had no clue. They quickly assured their son he was loved, no matter what.

By 2007 Tim grew up, went to college, fell in love, and asked his father to officiate at his wedding to Bobby. Frank immediately said yes, first out of love for his son and second because Tim would have been crushed by a second big rejection.

But Frank was conflicted. He knew he had violated church law. He had warned the bishop and district superintendent what he was doing and got no response from them. But Frank also wanted to keep his job. He had a family to feed and three more kids to get through college.

So Frank never mentioned the wedding to his congregation. He never pushed gay issues, though he did talk about inclusion. His wife pushed him to do more, but he needed to protect his job. He regrets his timidity now.

Even the talk of generic inclusion and general progressiveness annoyed the conservative members of his church. So when he welcomed a lesbian couple to the church there was open dissent. Someone found out about the forbidden wedding and filed a complaint with the bishop. Frank said it was the son of a conservative couple who was in the military and who Frank saw only once a year. "Nothing personal," the man said.

There was mediation. A lot of conservatives were initially on his side. He did it for his son, after all. But that support was given with the assumption Frank would express a bit of remorse and ask for forgiveness. Frank didn't do that. Many initial supporters turned their backs. On to a trial.

Frank knows the Book of Discipline is quite conflicted in what it says about sexual minorities. He was annoyed that he was not allowed to balance the good parts against the bad. At least not directly. He and his legal team devised a story comparing the incident to the Good Samaritan parable with Tim cast as the victim at the side of the road. Through the story Frank made the points he wanted to make.

But the lawyer for the church was a fire-and-brimstone speaker and told the jury if they didn't convict they also would face Hell. During this Frank's many supporters, wearing rainbow stoles, stood in protest. Frank was convicted. He thought he had prepared himself for that, but was still devastated.

The second day of the trial was to determine punishment. This time Frank could call witnesses. One was an eloquent champion of social justice. Another was a scholar of the Book of Discipline. The last was Tim, who poured out his pain at hearing all that hate speech as a young boy. The audience was moved to tears. The jury chatted during the testimony.

During the lunch break Frank spent time alone in prayer. He was still fearful of losing his job and being unable to support his family. He and his legal team had prepared a finely crafted response allowing Frank to walk an ambiguous line. But then he realized a few things. First, the church had to stop its bullying. Second, Jesus had given up everything and was unjustly accused while Frank was only asked to give up his job. Third, he could draw strength from all those rainbow stoles. This was a moment of perfect love.

So he gave a different closing statement, calling on the church to end its hate speech. He put on his own rainbow stole. He could see the church lawyer thinking, "Gotcha!" The lawyer asked Frank directly -- will you pledge to never do another same-sex wedding? Frank said he could not make that pledge. With that his job was over. And with that Frank finally felt free.

Frank's summary: The official church defrocked me. The Reconciling Church refrocked me.

Since the trial he has been warmly embraced by the Reconciling Movement and has not lacked for money or work. Gays and allies are hungry for Frank's message. A bishop in California has offered Frank a job being a pastor of a local church. They're still working out details, though Frank expects to start working there in July. Until then his schedule is packed with speaking engagements.

Don't hesitate to stand for love.

Then came a Q & A session. Here is some of what Frank said:

Even if the denomination splits, we need to talk to LGBT youth in conservative congregations.

There is no bridge between progressives and conservatives through theology. That bridge will come through personal and emotional connection.

Frank is for religious freedom. If a congregation does not want to perform same-sex ceremonies, they should not be forced into doing them. But those who want to do them should be allowed.

How do we make the Book of Discipline not be a problem? By putting people above the book, by going back to John Wesley's primary rule of do no harm, by recognizing the Discipline isn't the highest authority.

Every congregation should be asking: Why is our message no longer meaningful to young adults?

What can laity do? Prod your congregation to declare itself to be Reconciling. Put up a booth at the area pride festival because people want to know where they can be safe in worship.